Spouse Workouts Who Hate Exercising: Can It Work?
Do you like the sound of spouse workouts? Wouldn’t it be awesome to train with your significant other? Of course. But that may not be so easy.
Getting your spouse to exercise when they dislike it can feel like a challenge, but it’s an opportunity to connect on a new level. In my years as a personal trainer and nutritionist, I’ve seen firsthand that most people don’t truly hate exercise… they just haven’t found the right activity that clicks for them.
The key is transforming “exercise” from a chore into a shared, positive experience.
Research even shows that couples who engage in new activities together report higher levels of relationship satisfaction. This guide provides a clear, step-by-step plan to help you find that perfect activity, turning reluctance into a new and healthy part of your life together.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not meant to treat or diagnose any condition. It is recommended that you speak with your doctor before starting any exercise program, changing your daily nutrition, or adding any supplements to your regimen.
Table of contents
Key Takeaways
- Understand the “Why”: Before starting, talk to your spouse to uncover the root cause of their dislike for exercise. It could stem from boredom, intimidation, or past negative experiences.
- Focus on Shared Goals: Use the S.M.A.R.T. goal-setting framework (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Bound) to create a plan you both feel invested in.
- Variety is Essential: Don’t limit yourselves to the gym. Explore activities like hiking with the AllTrails app, taking dance classes, or playing pickleball to keep things fresh and fun.
- Start Slow and Offer Support: Aim for the American Heart Association’s guideline of 150 minutes of moderate activity per week, but break it into small, manageable sessions. Consistent encouragement is your most powerful tool.
Ways to Improve Spouse Workouts Together
You can successfully get your partner moving by using a thoughtful and supportive approach. Try these tips to make your spouse workouts fun and effective for both of you.
1) Why do they have a negative image of exercise?
First, you need to have an open conversation to understand their perspective. Many people develop a negative view of exercise due to specific reasons, and your role is to listen without judgment. Finding the root cause is essential for making spouse workouts a success.
Common barriers often include gym intimidation, boredom with repetitive routines, or even negative memories from school physical education classes. A 2022 study highlighted that a lack of enjoyment is a primary reason people stop exercising. Your goal is to work around these issues and find something genuinely enjoyable.
2) What are their goals?
Next, you need to define what “success” looks like for them. Their goals might have nothing to do with weight loss. Many people are motivated by other benefits that improve their daily life.
Focus on non-scale victories. Do they want more energy to play with the kids? Or perhaps they want to reduce stress after a long workday. The American Psychological Association confirms that exercise is a powerful tool for improving mental health. Frame your plan around these types of tangible, quality-of-life goals. Write them down together to create a shared vision for your spouse workouts.
3) Set short and long-term goals
Once you know their goals, it’s time to create a clear path forward. To do this effectively, I always recommend the S.M.A.R.T. goal framework to my clients. It ensures your objectives are well-defined and achievable. Make some short and long-term goals that you both agree on. This collaboration is crucial; if they help build the plan, they’ll feel more committed to your spouse workouts.
Here is what S.M.A.R.T. stands for:
- Specific: Instead of “get healthier,” aim for “walk three times a week for 30 minutes.”
- Measurable: You can track the frequency and duration of the walks.
- Achievable: Don’t set a goal to run a marathon in a month. Start with something realistic to build confidence.
- Relevant: The goal should align with what they want, like having more energy.
- Time-Bound: Set a deadline, such as “We will do this for the next four weeks and then check in.”
Short-term goals provide quick wins that build momentum and motivation. Achieving these small milestones makes the long-term vision, like losing 20 pounds in six months, feel much more attainable.
4) Start off slow with spouse workouts
Remember, this is not a race. Pushing too hard, too soon is a common mistake that leads to burnout and reinforces the idea that exercise is punishing. Slow and steady progress is what creates lasting habits.
The American Heart Association recommends 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise per week. That breaks down to just over 20 minutes a day. Start there. Maybe it’s a 15-minute walk after dinner. As their fitness improves, you can gradually increase the duration or intensity.
A great pro-tip is the “10-minute rule.” Commit to just 10 minutes of an activity. If your partner still feels miserable after 10 minutes, you can stop for the day. Most of the time, getting started is the hardest part, and they will want to continue.
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5) Introduce new things
Boredom is the enemy of consistency. The best way to keep your spouse workouts engaging is to constantly introduce variety. Think outside the box and away from the traditional gym setting.
There are so many fun ways to be active together. You could try:
- Hiking or Biking: Use an app like AllTrails to discover new local paths.
- Recreational Sports: Join a beginner’s league for pickleball, tennis, or bowling.
- Dance Classes: Sign up for salsa, swing, or ballroom dancing lessons.
- Water Activities: Go kayaking, paddleboarding, or swimming.
If you find an exercise they don’t enjoy, simply change it. The goal is to find activities that feel more like play than work. This exploration is part of the fun of spouse workouts.
6) Give support during spouse workouts
Your encouragement is the most important factor in this journey. Since your partner may be hesitant about exercising, they will rely on you for positive reinforcement. You are their lifeline and biggest cheerleader.
Focus on praising their effort, not just the results. A simple “I’m so proud of you for getting out here with me today” can make a huge difference. When they feel like giving up, gently remind them of their goals and how far they’ve already come. This shared journey is about supporting each other through challenges.
7) Reward them
Celebrating milestones with small rewards can be a powerful motivator. This isn’t about bribery, but about acknowledging their hard work and success in your spouse workouts. The best rewards are often those that support their new healthy lifestyle.
Consider gifts like a new pair of quality running shoes, a gift certificate for a sports massage, or new workout clothes. These rewards reinforce the positive changes they are making and show that you recognize and appreciate their commitment.
8) Enjoy each other’s company during spouse workouts
The ultimate goal is to have fun together. The purpose of spouse workouts is not just about physical health, it’s about strengthening your relationship. Don’t be afraid to be silly, laugh, and enjoy the process.
Make it a dedicated time to connect without other distractions. The more you enjoy this time together, the more likely you are to stick with it. This is a lifestyle change that you can both enjoy for years to come. Soon enough, your partner might be the one motivating you to get up for an early workout.
Related Article: Couples Fitness — Should You Work Out with Your Spouse?
Spouse Workouts FAQs
What if we have very different fitness levels?
This is a common concern. Focus on activities that can be modified for each person. For example, during a walk or run, the faster person can loop back. In a home workout, one person can use heavier weights or do more advanced versions of an exercise while the other focuses on form with lighter weight or bodyweight.
How often should we do spouse workouts?
Aim for consistency over intensity. Starting with 2-3 times per week is a great goal. This allows for rest and recovery while still building a routine. As you both become more comfortable, you can add more days if you wish.
What are some good at-home spouse workouts?
There are many options for at-home fitness. You can follow workout videos together from platforms like YouTube or apps like Peloton Digital and Nike Training Club. You can also create simple circuits involving bodyweight exercises like squats, push-ups, planks, and lunges, where you can motivate each other.
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