Want to Stay Fit? Then Skip Getting Married!
I told someone the other day that if they want to stay fit, they may not want to get married. The look on their face said it all. But hear me out here…
Let’s be honest, that title probably made you do a double-take. But as a certified strength coach and sports nutritionist, I’ve seen the patterns firsthand. For those who are married, this might hit close to home. For those who aren’t, consider this a friendly heads-up.
The data doesn’t lie. A study presented at the 2025 European Congress on Obesity was a real eye-opener. It found that married men are a staggering 3.2 times more likely to be obese than their unmarried peers. Another 2024 study out of China linked marriage to a 5.2% increase in men being overweight.
This guide will break down exactly why this happens and give you the strategies to make sure your health and fitness goals don’t get left behind, whether you’re married or not.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not meant to treat or diagnose any condition. It is recommended that you speak with your doctor before starting any exercise program, changing your daily nutrition, or adding any supplements to your regimen.
Key Takeaways
- Marriage is a risk factor for weight gain. Recent studies show married men are significantly more likely to be obese, and both partners face an increased risk of becoming overweight.
- Your partner’s habits become your habits. This phenomenon, known as social contagion, means you’re more likely to adopt your spouse’s eating and exercise patterns, for better or worse.
- Restaurant meals are calorie bombs. The average restaurant meal contains over 1,100 calories, making frequent dining out a major contributor to weight gain.
- Motivation changes after marriage. The drive to stay fit often shifts from external factors (attracting a partner) to internal ones (long-term health), which requires a different mindset.
- Stress and sedentary time are hidden enemies. Life stress elevates cortisol, a hormone that drives cravings for unhealthy food, while time spent on the couch watching TV is directly linked to an increased risk of obesity.
Why You Should Skip Marriage If You Want to Stay Fit
Below are some of the most common reasons I’ve seen in my career for why tying the knot can derail your mission to stay fit.
1. Monkey see, monkey do kills your ability to stay fit
This is one of the biggest factors. When your spouse brings home a pie, you have a piece. When they grab a bowl of ice cream, you often do too. It’s not about peer pressure, it’s about proximity and shared habits.
This isn’t just a hunch, it’s a well-documented phenomenon called “social contagion.” A study published in *JAMA Network Open* that looked at over 5,000 couples found that partners share incredibly similar health behaviors. The research highlighted a high level of shared unhealthy habits, particularly when it came to poor diet and not getting enough exercise.
The numbers are clear. One study found that if one partner becomes obese, the other has a 37% higher chance of becoming obese too. Your environment shapes your choices, and in a marriage, your partner is your primary environment.
2. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach
This old saying isn’t just about men, it applies to everyone. Showing love through food is common, but it comes with a caloric cost. When your partner makes your favorite high-calorie dish or dessert, you eat it, often in large quantities, to show appreciation.
The problem is that portions have gotten out of control. According to the CDC, the average hamburger is more than three times larger today than it was in the 1960s. That “special meal” can easily turn into a huge surplus of calories that your body simply doesn’t need. All those leftovers and extra helpings add up quickly, working directly against your goal to stay fit.
The pleasure from that delicious meal often ends with you on the couch, feeling stuffed and regretting that second helping. It’s a cycle that can be hard to break.
3. Stay fit? Who are you trying to impress?
Let’s be real. When you were dating, a big motivation to hit the gym and eat right was to look good for your partner. Psychologists call this “extrinsic motivation,” which is when you do something for an external reward, like attracting a mate.
After marriage, that external pressure often disappears. You’ve already “won” the prize. Research based on Self-Determination Theory shows that long-term commitment to exercise relies more on “intrinsic motivation,” which is doing something for its own sake, like for your health or because you enjoy it. If you haven’t developed that internal drive, your fitness habits can easily fall apart once the external motivation is gone.
Related Article: Couples Fitness — Should You Work Out with Your Spouse?
The mindset shifts to, “My spouse should love me for who I am, not what I look like.” While true, it ignores the fact that physical attraction is often what brings people together. Letting go completely can sometimes change the dynamic of a relationship.
4. You eat out more often
Date nights are great, but they often revolve around food. While you can eat healthy at a restaurant, it’s a minefield of hidden calories. Research consistently shows that restaurant meals are a major problem for anyone trying to stay fit.
A study published in the journal Public Health Nutrition found that people who cooked at home 6-7 times a week consumed about 137 fewer calories daily than those who ate out more frequently. That might not sound like much, but it adds up to a potential 14-pound weight gain over a single year.
A typical sit-down restaurant meal can contain a shocking number of calories, often well over 1,100 per plate. Even seemingly healthy choices are often prepared with extra oils, butter, and sauces that add hundreds of calories. For instance, that “healthy” side salad can be loaded with cheese, croutons, and high-fat dressing.
One of the best tips I give my clients is to ask for a to-go box when they order. When the food arrives, immediately put half of it in the box for later. This simple trick helps you control portions before you’re tempted to overeat.
5. Life changes and so do your habits
Life gets more complicated after marriage, with added responsibilities like mortgages, kids, and coordinating two schedules. This often leads to stress, which is a killer for any fitness plan. When you’re stressed, your body releases a hormone called cortisol.
Elevated cortisol does two terrible things: it increases your appetite and makes you crave high-fat, sugary “comfort” foods. It’s a physiological response that makes it incredibly difficult to stick to a healthy nutrition plan. As a 2007 British study found, people with high cortisol responses are much more likely to snack when dealing with daily hassles.
On top of that, when life gets busy, what’s the first thing people sacrifice? Their workout. This is a huge mistake. Exercise is one of the most effective ways to manage stress and burn off the energy that might otherwise be channeled into stress-eating. You have to schedule your workouts like important appointments, whether that means hitting the gym before work or using a home treadmill after the kids are in bed.
6. Late night television
This is my biggest pet peeve. Winding down with your spouse in front of the TV for hours every night is a recipe for a sedentary lifestyle. Whether it’s reality shows or sports, that couch time is a huge obstacle to your goal to stay fit.
Research from the Nurses’ Health Study is damning: every two-hour daily increment of TV watching is associated with a 23% increase in obesity risk. It’s not just the sitting, it’s the mindless snacking that goes with it. A bottle of wine, a bag of chips, and that hour-long show just cost you 500+ calories.
There is absolutely no excuse. You can be active while watching TV. Put a treadmill or stationary bike in front of the screen. Do bodyweight exercises like squats and push-ups during commercial breaks. If you feel like watching the Kardashians is more important than your health, you need to re-evaluate your priorities.
FAQs on How to Stay Fit
Is it inevitable that I’ll gain weight after getting married?
No, it’s not inevitable, but the risk is real. A Harvard study found that couples in supportive marriages were actually less likely to gain weight over time. The key is being aware of these pitfalls and working together as a team to prioritize a healthy lifestyle. Communication and setting shared goals are critical.
How can my spouse and I stay fit together?
Working out together is a great way to stay motivated and spend quality time. You can try things like going for runs, joining a gym together, or doing partner exercises at home. Simple routines can be very effective, like doing partner-assisted squats or passing a medicine ball during sit-ups. Even scheduling active dates like hiking or bike rides can make a huge difference.
What’s the most important habit to focus on to avoid weight gain?
From my experience, the single most impactful habit is cooking and eating most of your meals at home. You have complete control over ingredients and portion sizes. As research from Johns Hopkins showed, people who cook at home consume significantly fewer calories, carbs, and fats than those who frequently eat out. Make cooking a fun, shared activity instead of a chore.
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