The Urgency to Do it NOW So You Aren’t Living with Regret
Living with regret is a terrible thing. Are you truly living, or are you putting off your biggest goals for “someday”?
This is a question many of us avoid, but it’s one that often sits in the back of our minds. I’ve built a career as a certified strength and conditioning coach helping people transform their bodies, and I’ve learned that the biggest hurdles are rarely physical. They are mental.
Living with regret is about more than just fitness. It’s about not starting that business, not asking that person out, or not taking that trip. It’s the heavy feeling of knowing you could have, but you didn’t.
This guide is about giving you the urgency to act now, so you can build a life you’re proud to look back on.
Table of contents
Key Takeaways
- Chronic regret is not just a feeling; it can lead to serious mental health issues like depression and anxiety by keeping your body in a state of stress.
- The most common regrets often involve inaction, like not pursuing dreams, expressing feelings, or staying in touch with friends.
- You can actively prevent future regret by using structured goal-setting methods like SMART or WOOP to turn vague wishes into concrete, actionable plans.
- Simply writing down your goals makes you significantly more likely to achieve them, according to a study by Dr. Gail Matthews at Dominican University.
Living with Regret is Crippling
I’ve spent a lot of time in assisted-living homes visiting my grandmother. While she has lived a full life, many of the residents I speak with share a profound sense of sadness. They reflect on the chances they never took and the opportunities they let slip by.
This isn’t just an emotional burden; it has real consequences. Chronic regret can keep your body’s stress response system on high alert, which research shows can impact everything from your sleep to your immune system. This sustained stress is closely linked to a higher risk of depression and anxiety.
Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative care nurse, documented the most common regrets she heard from patients in her book “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.”
- Living a life true to oneself, not what others expected.
- Not working so hard and missing out on family and relationships.
- Having the courage to express their feelings.
- Staying in touch with friends.
- Letting themselves be happier, realizing happiness is a choice.
These aren’t about bungee jumps or exotic travels. They are fundamental human needs for connection, authenticity, and fulfillment. Think about your own life. If it were to end tomorrow, would you be at peace with your choices?
What Can You Do to Prevent Looking Back with Regret?
Avoiding a future filled with regret starts with taking intentional action today. You don’t have to overhaul your entire life overnight. The key is to stop letting days pass by without taking actions towards your goals. As a coach, I know that a good plan is the difference between a wish and a reality.
Create a Concrete Action Plan
That “bucket list” idea has real psychological power. A study by Dr. Gail Matthews at Dominican University found that you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals simply by writing them down. The physical act of putting pen to paper makes your goals tangible and real.
To make your goals even more powerful, give them structure. Don’t just write “get in shape.” Use a proven framework like SMART goals.
| S – Specific | Instead of “get in shape,” say “lose 15 pounds and run a 5k.” |
| M – Measurable | “I will track my weight weekly and my running distance daily.” |
| A – Achievable | Is this goal realistic for your current fitness level and schedule? |
| R – Relevant | Does this goal align with your desire for better health and more energy? |
| T – Time-bound | “I will achieve this in the next six months.” |
Prepare for Obstacles and Shift Your Mindset
A goal without a plan for overcoming obstacles is just a wish. This is where another excellent framework comes in, known as WOOP, developed by psychologist Gabriele Oettingen.
- Wish: What is your most important goal?
- Outcome: What is the best possible result of achieving this? Visualize it.
- Obstacle: What is the main internal obstacle that could stop you? Be honest. Is it fear, procrastination, or self-doubt?
- Plan: Create an “if-then” plan. “If [obstacle] happens, then I will [action].” For example: “If I feel too tired to work out after work, then I will put my gym clothes on before I leave the office.”
Stop thinking “I can’t.” Your brain is wired to find evidence for what you tell it. Instead, ask “How can I?” This simple change reframes the problem and puts you in control. If your goal is to step on a bodybuilding stage, ask yourself what it will take and then build the plan to get there.
You have to act with urgency. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Life can throw a curveball at any moment, and we are not guaranteed good health or even tomorrow. Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment you have and make it perfect through your actions.
FAQs About Living with Regret
What is the most common regret people have?
Based on extensive research, including the work of Bronnie Ware with palliative care patients, the single most common regret is not living a life true to oneself, but rather living the life others expected. This often includes not pursuing personal dreams and passions.
Can living with regret affect my physical health?
Yes. Chronic regret can lead to a persistent state of stress, which elevates hormones like cortisol. Over time, this can negatively affect your immune system, disrupt sleep patterns, and increase your risk for mental health conditions like depression and anxiety.
How can I overcome the fear that stops me from taking action?
Using a structured plan like the WOOP method can be very effective. By identifying your primary obstacle (like fear of failure) ahead of time and creating a specific “if-then” plan for how you’ll respond, you are mentally prepared to face it. This moves you from a state of passive fear to active problem-solving.
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