You’ll Lose Friends When You Finally Become Successful
When you finally learn how to become successful, be prepared for your entire world to shift. It’s an outcome that catches many by surprise.
The friends you once had might disappear. Family members who seemed distant suddenly want to be close. Things can get a little weird, and that becomes your new reality.
You see, people often like it when you are on their level because it allows them to feel comfortable. When you decide to level up, everything changes. This guide will walk you through why this happens and how to handle it.
Table of contents
Key Takeaways
- Friendships Change: When you become successful, expect your social circle to change. This is often due to jealousy and a shift in priorities, a phenomenon explained by Social Comparison Theory.
- Your Inner Circle Matters: The idea that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, often attributed to speaker Jim Rohn, is critical. Surround yourself with people who inspire and challenge you.
- Seek Mentorship: Don’t go it alone. Organizations like SCORE offer free mentorship, and data from the U.S. Small Business Administration shows mentored businesses have a significantly higher survival rate.
- Build a Smart Team: Hire people who are experts in their fields. You can’t do everything, and delegating tasks like marketing or finance allows you to focus on your core strengths to grow the business.
- Overcome Resistance: The biggest obstacle is often internal. Author Steven Pressfield calls this “Resistance.” Taking action, even small steps, is the only way to push past the fear and self-doubt that hold you back.
As Soon as You Become Successful… Bye Felicia
Remember your buddies from school? The ones who might still be living for the weekend? It’s not that you’re better than them, but your paths have diverged. You’ve matured and built something for your future while they might be holding onto the past.
You’ve worked hard to get where you are, and you deserve it. But that change can make others uncomfortable.
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There’s a psychological reason for this friction. It’s often explained by Social Comparison Theory, first proposed by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954. This theory suggests that people evaluate themselves by comparing their lives to others. When your success creates a stark contrast, it can trigger feelings of insecurity or envy in your friends, even if they care about you.
This is why the famous quote by motivational speaker Jim Rohn is so powerful: you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Think of them as your circle of influence. If you surround yourself with five people who lack ambition, you risk becoming the sixth.
As you level up, you naturally need to find a new circle. You need people who push you and understand the sacrifices you’re making. You’re spending your nights working and honing your skills, not just hanging out.
The people you need now are those you aspire to be like. Success can be lonely at first, but it also attracts new people. Be cautious, though. Some will be drawn to your success for the wrong reasons, hoping for handouts or favors. These leeches will try to drain your energy and resources. Protect your circle fiercely.
Where Do You Go from Here Once You Become Successful?
Your journey doesn’t end when you reach a goal. The next step is to surround yourself with people who are already where you want to go. If you’re making six figures, find people making seven. Your goal is to constantly learn from those ahead of you.
A great way to do this is to look for mentors and professional peer groups. Don’t feel bad about leaving some people behind; if they had the same drive, they would be on the same path.
A 2022 report from the U.S. Small Business Administration showed that 70% of mentored businesses survive for more than five years, which is double the rate of those without mentors.
Organizations like SCORE, a nonprofit partner of the SBA, offer free mentorship from experienced executives and entrepreneurs. For those looking for structured peer advisory groups, organizations like Vistage and the Entrepreneurs’ Organization (EO) provide a confidential environment to solve business challenges.
When you achieve success, there are no “off days.” You must continue to learn, grow, and learn to adapt. Building a team is a crucial part of this. Hire people who are smarter than you in specific areas. If marketing isn’t your strength, bring in a marketing expert. This allows you to focus on what you do best to drive the business forward.
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The drive that gets you to one goal doesn’t just disappear. You’ll cross one off the list and immediately create another. This relentless pursuit is what separates the successful from the complacent.
Who Do You Want to Be?
Take a hard look at your current situation. Are you happy with where you are? Or are you living with regret, wondering what could have been? Often, the thing holding us back is an internal force.
Author Steven Pressfield gave this force a name in his book, “The War of Art”: he calls it Resistance. Resistance is that voice of fear, doubt, and procrastination that stops you from taking action. It’s the excuse that says “it’s not the right time” or the fear of failure that keeps you from starting.
The only way to beat Resistance is to act. There is no better time than right now to start building the life you want. It could be launching a business, pushing for a promotion, or improving a key relationship.
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You have to fight for what you want. No one will hand you anything. To become successful, you must put in the time and push through the days you want to quit. Don’t let anyone, whether friends or family, get in the way of that.
You have one life to live. Live it on your terms. That is the only true way to become successful and find happiness.
FAQs About What Happens When You Become Successful
Why do you lose friends when you become successful?
This often happens because of a psychological principle called Social Comparison Theory. Your success can unintentionally highlight the areas where your friends feel they are lacking, leading to feelings of envy, insecurity, or resentment. Additionally, your priorities, schedule, and interests change, which can create a natural drift.
How do I find a good business mentor?
A great place to start is with SCORE, a national nonprofit that provides free business mentoring from experienced volunteers as a resource partner of the U.S. Small Business Administration. You can also look into industry-specific associations or use platforms like LinkedIn to connect with seasoned professionals in your field.
Is it normal to feel scared or unprepared to start a business?
Yes, it’s completely normal. According to a 2021 Harris Poll, 92% of people who considered starting a business didn’t follow through, with fear being a primary reason. Common fears include failure, lack of funds, and inexperience. Recognizing that this is a universal feeling is the first step to overcoming it.
How can I build a new, supportive network?
Actively seek out groups and communities aligned with your new goals. Consider joining peer advisory groups like Vistage or the Entrepreneurs’ Organization (EO), which cater to business owners. Attend industry conferences, participate in local business meetups, and engage in online forums related to your field to connect with like-minded individuals.
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