Bang Energy Marketing Strategy: Am I Missing Something Here?
Now, I know all the marketing gurus and purists are going to chime in here and tell me how I don’t know what I’m talking about and that the Bang Energy marketing strategy is pure brilliance. But I’m sorry, the only thing I want to “Bang” is my head against the wall if I see one more stupid piece of merch being launched or promoted.
Note: This article about Bang Energy marketing is slightly satirist in nature. If you aren’t willing to have a few laughs, don’t read this and move along.
In all honestly, the merch that Bang Energy is coming out with is absolutely cringe-worthy. So much so, that I’d literally kick my own ass if I used any of it let alone made a video or Instagram post endorsing it. I don’t care how much money you throw at me. Yet, you have all of these influencers getting bought out and ultimately selling their soul to be a walking talking billboard all in the name of making some quick money. THIS is what the industry has come to?
I’m so confused by the Bang Energy marketing strategy. Do people need to look stupid on purpose just to make money? Come on man, is everyone drinking the Kool-Aid these days?
But WAIT! There’s MORE!
Look, I love me some Bang Energy drinks, but the Bang Energy marketing isn’t what has me pop a top – it’s the flavor and caffeine content. But every time I see Bang Energy come out with a ridiculous piece of merch, it’s like a bad infomercial that says, “But wait, there’s more!” Heck, you can even cue DJ Khaled saying, “another one.”
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I mean, honestly, is anyone buying this stuff, or do we just see it on fitness influencer Instagram pages and YouTube videos? I have yet to see one person who is a personal friend of mine in the industry legitimately promoting the Bang Energy merch or buying it because they think it’s cool.
After going to the Bang Energy website, my mind was blown even further. In terms of accessories, there are over 49 items available – some of which we are going to have a little fun with right now.
I’m talking things like towels (to “clean up” after yourself), umbrellas (because your future’s so bright), pens (for those important contracts you need to sign), bags (to put your school books in), cups (for beer pong), stickers (to put on your laptop lid that’s in your Bang Energy laptop sleeve), resistance bands (work those glutes), phone grips (so you can take your Bang Energy selfies in public places), lunchboxes (because you’re probably still in school), wrist straps (be real, you don’t have weak wrist from all that…), a teddy bear (because you’re sleeping alone – hence your strong wrists), coolers (to keep your beer cold during Spring Break), glow sticks (for the ravers out there), and best of all… a Bang Energy fanny pack (because why not?).
But Wait! We haven’t even talked about the apparel yet! Colorful tops and bottoms that look like they came straight out of the ‘60s when people were smoking weed and with over 140 different items to choose from, you can buy one of everything and you won’t have to do the laundry for months. Oh, and don’t think I’m going to waltz on by without talking about the Bang Energy shoes. I mean, if you ain’t hangin’, you ain’t bangin’. And if you’re caught dead in those shoes, trust me, you ain’t bangin’ anything.
But seriously, why? I’m being dead serious. Why would anyone (who isn’t paid by the company) want to wear or own anything produced by Bang Energy? If they had plain t-shirts, I can actually see people wearing them. But the stuff they have on their website is a little odd. I get the fact that Bang Energy is one of the biggest energy drink brands out there today, but I don’t see people walking around in neon rainbow colored Monster Energy jumpsuits or dance shorts with a frickin’ unicorn on it. So, why would anyone wear those things with Bang written on it?
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